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Self awareness

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You are enough

January 22, 2016

I used to think that self-worth was something that you had to earn; as if you had to prove yourself to acquire value and qualify as a worthy human being. I thought that self-worth was rooted in the external; dependent on personal and professional outward “success”. Over the last year or so, I’ve come to realize that this ideology is deeply flawed. I had it wrong all along.

Self-worth is not something you accumulate, it is inherent.

Your sense of worth shouldn’t depend on external validation, it should come from within. If you don’t accept yourself and recognize your inherent value, you will never feel good enough, regardless of how hard you try and how much “success” you achieve. Ultimately, you will never be truly happy.

Sure, external accomplishments might make you feel good about yourself momentarily, but relying solely on accomplishments to fuel your self esteem is problematic. If you equate personal success with self worth, then you may equate failure with not being good enough. If you subscribe to this type of mindset, it is harder to recover from failure or a setback. When you “fail”, you may assume it’s due to your lack of abilities, when in reality its not. Everyone experiences some form of failure in life, it is important not to let the setback damage your self confidence and realize that failure and struggle is part of being human.

Moreover, no amount of validation and love from others can replace the need for you to love yourself. Yes, it feels great to receive compliments from your friends and family and sure, being loved for who you are feels wonderful. However, when you give others the power to determine how you feel about yourself, the moment someone starts to criticize you and the moment someone dislikes you or rejects you, your world starts to crumble. This mentality results in a fluctuating self-esteem; one moment you feel great about yourself, the next you’re wallowing in self-loathing. Such a mindset is unsustainable and does not guarantee long-term happiness.

Ultimately, our self-worth shouldn’t be determined by things beyond our control. We can’t control what others think and we can’t control what happens to us, we can only control how we feel about ourselves. The truth is, we are all deeply flawed, but worthy of (self) love anyway.

you are enough

Digital Marketing Reflections

How do you Fascinate Others?

October 6, 2013

I have always been intrigued by personality tests so when I heard about Sally Hogshead’s Fascination Advantage test, I was instantly curious. The Fascination Advantage test is the first science-based personality brand assessment test. The test reveals how your personality adds distinct value and determines your fascination triggers.

In the context of a flailing job market, a rapidly growing population, and a society that is more educated than ever before, our lives are becoming fiercely competitive. To compound this issue, the rapid dissemination of information and multitude of media channels in the digital age has ensued in another problem – diminishing attention spans. According to Sally Hogshead, our attention span now lasts a mere 9 seconds – equivalent to that of a gold fish. 

In a competitive and distracting world, it has become of particular importance for us to understand what it is about us that sets us apart from everyone else? What exactly is it about us that fascinates others? In the context of marketing, what is our unique value proposition? I took to Hogshead’s Fascination test to answer these questions myself. 

The Result?

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According to the test, my archetype (which is a combination of my primary and secondary triggers) is “The Talent”. 3% of the people who took the test have the exact same trigger combination as me. I am expressive, stylish and emotionally intelligent.

Hogshead proposes there are 7 fascination triggers which we all use, but to varying degrees and intensity

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My primary trigger is passion. In other words, passion is how I am most likely to fascinate others. According to the test, I am expressive, intuitive, have high emotional intelligence and excel in relationships with others. I add value by being approachable and being able to intuitively understand ideas and feelings of others. 

My secondary trigger is prestige. I am ambitious, constantly seek out new goals and experiences and I am in perpetual pursuit of improvement. I add value by constantly envisioning ways to improve and upgrade. 

Based on my determined archetype, the top 5 characteristics that comprise my unique value proposition are: 

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The Verdict?

Overall, I found the results of this test to be fairly accurate and reflective of my personality.  The passion trigger has correctly identified that I have a deep-seated curiosity and fascination for understanding people, I am sensitive to the emotions of others, intuitive and social (despite my inherent shyness). I set goals for myself, I tend to be self critical and I am constantly seeking to improve. Given the fact that it’s just a 28 question test – the results are pretty damn impressive. Not only does it provide insight into how you fascinate others, but it reveals your weaknesses, areas for improvement and provides practical ways you can utilize your fascination advantage in the workplace.

However, the test (as with everything) is not perfect. The subtle nuances and complexity of personality and human behavior cannot be captured by answering 28 questions. For example, certain aspects regarding the “prestige” trigger do not fully apply to me. Whilst it is true that I am driven and tend to be a perfectionist, I am not always perceived to be this way. From my personal experience, sometimes people (falsely) assume that if you have a happy disposition and tend to be soft spoken, you are not ambitious and driven – as if such qualities are mutually exclusive. In my case, the test did not account for the fact that sometimes there is a discrepancy between the way you are and the way people perceive you to be. Furthermore, upon reading the charts, I noticed that my “mystique” trigger comprised the same percentage (12%) as my “prestige” trigger. Yet, the test did not provide any results and insight into the “mystique” trigger, despite it being as “intense” as my “prestige” trigger. 

Hogshead has taught me that we all have the capacity to fascinate, even though we do so in uniquely different ways. I recommend that you all set aside 3 minutes of your day and take the test. Once you understand how you fascinate others, you can capitalize on your strengths and build on your weaknesses to captivate and capture the attention of those around you.

How do you fascinate?